Thanks sweetie.  I Love you.

1.   Michelle is being kicked a lot by Baby Luke.  She is scheduled for a C-Section on 12-17-2010.  She is ready to have the baby now though.  He is 3.5 pounds as of his last check-up and Michelle is not having any complications.

2.   All of the kids got decent reports from the parent-teacher conferences this past week.  Mikayla has some room for improvement and McKenzie is doing very well right now.

3.   We are starting to attend a different church.  We have been going to New Beginnings Church in Lee’s Summit Mo.  So far we are enjoying going there.  We had a very productive meeting with one of the Pastors from the church as well as his family.  We are looking forward to trying to become more involved in that church.  

4.  We will be staying home again this Christmas for obvious reasons and we hope to be spending a lot of time with our friends in the area who are also deciding not to travel this year. 

   Sorry that this blog is not very interesting but I wanted to take an opportunity to let people know what was going on, at least for those who are interested.  I plan to try to find some time to add to this blog.  Now that soccer season is over and things are winding down, I hope that I have more time to work on things I have been neglecting. I am also hoping to spend some time reconnecting with folks and talking more to my friends.  Also, I am hoping to really get involved with this new church we are attending.  Some of the things that we talked about today really interest me and I am looking forward to being able to help.  Enough random rambling for now…. have a great day!

Words can hurt.  Often times we feel justified in using them to express how we feel about things or people.  Agree, disagree, we all do it.  But how often do we take the time to consider those words before speaking them?  How often do we think about what harm they might cause.  Of course, those words can be us, defending ourselves, our beliefs, our families, but at what cost?

Cost, in and of itself is not often considered, immediate is all we see.  And in the heat of passion or discussion or rage, we rarely consider cost, which is usually long-term and often reaching far beyond what we can see.  Consider cost as you speak.  For your words can burn far beyond that than your intended topic.

Lack of consideration can burn friendships long forged, relationships you may not have considered, and family that only ever meant good.  Burned relationships are hard to restore, especially when the wound is deep.  Has it not be said that the tongue is the cruelest weapon of all?  Your words can and do hurt, and even more than you can see.

For those around you, who may not even be involved, can hear those words, and form opinions that they may not have otherwise ever formed, just because you lashed out without a thought or care. You speak out, and may even think yourself justified, yet all you do is hurt. Hurt those you may wish, but almost certainly, you will hurt those whom you never intended too.  Words do hurt. Pity we sometimes never realize who or how much.

…..this is for the MANY things I have read today about

I have been thinking about perspectives today and one has been brought to my attention.

Yesterday, I had what I classified as a “bad food day”.  In my quest to continue to drop weight, there are some foods I have tried to not eat as often and some foods I try to avoid all together.  This quest is further motivated by the digestive issues I have fought with since I was 16. Yesterday I ate every wrong thing for me and way too much of it. As a result, I posted on Facebook that I had a “bad food day”. Not too much later, someone posted that “Any day with food is a good day”.  This post I decided to ignore with the thought that , they don’t know, they don’t understand.  Today, I received as similar comment, but with…. Perspective.  This was a childhood friend who had recently had some significant surgery on his digestive tract and was only allowed to have liquids.   From his perspective, he is correct.  …and this got me thinking, There are so many ways to look at so many different things.  Considering that some have to eat from trash cans, or some have even less than that, the first comment about food seems all the more fitting.

How often do we disagree with comments or statements just because we fail to give them the proper perspective?

I just want to take a few minutes to touch on a previous post about the “New Kid”. Most of my misgiving about the baby went away with finding out he is a boy. I am now getting more and more excited as we move closer to the due date. (December 25th but we have a C-section scheduled for Dec. 17th.)
I have noticed that this is a different feeling than my first biological child, Emily. I wonder if I should feel different. I find myself grinning at the thought, and at the name choice. I know… I know… Luke? Really? Yes, really. Can’t wait. (Mostly) What fun I am going to have. I have been thinking a lot about different things we will do. The different experiences we will share. I find myself hoping he will turn out like me in a lot of ways, just not all of them. 
But then I think… How will this impact Emily? While I have tried to spread myself around as much as possible with all the girls, Emily has gotten a good bit of attention from me. We both seem to crave the closeness. She is great, and I love her so much. I don’t really have the words to describe the connection we share. And I wonder, how is our relationship going to be affected? Is she going to feel jealous? Is she going to feel replaced or rejected? Am I worrying over nothing? I just don’t want our relationship to change. This has been weighing pretty heavily on my mind.
I guess I am just looking for insight and advice at this point. My wife tells me I worry too much. Maybe I do. Perhaps I am too comfortable with status quo. Change is hard…..

      This year we would like to try someplace new, so I am fishing for ideas.  The Buffalo River in Arkansas was very clean, quiet, and un-crowded.  I would like something like that again.  Also, we are also considering a white water trip as an alternative.  Again, not sure where to go for that either. 

     So… those of you who are the outdoorsy types who have been places, hook me up with your favorite locations.  I want to try something new.  I appreciate any input.  As always, thanks for reading.

How would you rate that experience?  Blissful? Satisfying? Mind Numbing?

As for me, when I get into a “groove” it tend to forget time. Hunger, I ignore it. Thirst, unless I have a drink handy, I don’t worry about it.  More often than not, when I am in said “groove”, unless I finish what I am working on, someone has to make me quit.  Anyone else out there know what that is like.  How mad do you get when someone interrupts you?

I guess what I am saying is I was in a “groove” and I got interrupted because I had to eat lunch. (Hourly – labors laws – you know the drill).  I didn’t want to stop, I wanted to keep doing what I was doing.  I don’t think it should bother me that my boss cares enough to make me stop working so I, 1. Don’t get in trouble. and 2. Eat something so I don’t become ill.  It did bother me though, So I want to find out if it bothers anyone else.

So… Thanks boss, don’t mean to be grumpy, and thanks everyone else for reading about my insanity.

I don’t think I can do this anymore. 

Tired of fighting.

Tired of living in fear.

Tired of the struggle.

Tired of being tired.

I am tired of not knowing what to do or how to fix it.  Is it too much to ask to have less stress, less demand, and some peace?  Is it too much to ask for? Is it really?  I don’t want to be rich. I don’t want to be idle. All I want is to be able to not live in fear for my family’s security and wellbeing.  I want some financial stability.  I want to know that the money will be there to pay for the stuff that needs to be paid for.  I don’t know how to get to that point.  Don’t know if I ever will.  I don’t think I can.  I don’t know how to do this anymore.  I just don’t know…

This has caused a couple of reactions in me…

1.   I suddenly felt older.  At 35, it does seem a bit late in the game to be having another child.  I will be in my early 50′s when the kid is graduating from high school.  I will be a little long in the tooth to be dealing with “teen drama”. 

2.   I felt panic.  How are we gonna pay for another child?  A three bedroom house is not really big enough for 5 kids. We gotta find a new place to live.  Gotta move the kids again. Geez…

3.   But lastly… I felt excitement.  Maybe a boy this time… That would be cool.  Either way, another kid, another adventure.  It should be fun.  It is something my wife wanted. So now we are on our way again.

God has brought another child to our lives.  I have no doubt that he will provide us all we need to take care of anything that should happen is our new adventure in life.  I will keep you posted as we get more details on the kid.